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Fixing Alt – 6 Reasons Bacon Is Better Than True Love

This is the next blog in a series titled “Fixing Alt” where I supply alternative text to graphics on the web that badly need it (cartoons and infographics).

The Oatmeal has great comics, but badly needs alt text. One of their most successful comics is 6 Reasons Bacon Is Better Than True Love (you can even order a poster) and deserves to be enjoyed by everyone! So here is the text version:

6 Reasons Bacon Is Better Than True Love

Illustration: 3 strips of bacon, greater-than symbol, heart.

  1. True love happens once in a lifetime. Bacon can happen seven times a day, if you want it to. Illustration: Man, drooling, with bacon in hand says “You are my everything”.
  2. Bacon you can keep in the fridge. True love you cannot. Illustration: Woman trying to get out of fridge says “Oh God oh God, let me out of here! Man holds door back with heart in a thought cloud.
  3. Love is fleeting, but bacon stays in your arteries for all eternity. Illustration: Man laying down with bacon strips falling in his open mouth.
  4. It will always be there for you. Illustration: Man with tears in eyes says “nobody loves me except my bacon”.
  5. Bacon won’t divorce you over a little misunderstanding. Illustration: Wife gasping; man in skimpy underwear with goat on leash and 2 nearly naked women says “This isn’t what it looks like. These aren’t hookers, they are my ‘consultants'”.
  6. Bacon does not nag or complain. Illustration: Woman says “You’ve been sitting in that goddamn chair for 8 weeks, go mow the lawn! Soiled man in lounge chair says “Shut up, more bacon please”.

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